Remembering Baby

My baby girl Sarah you are greatly missed. When daddy and I found out we were going to have you we were celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary in Puerto Rico. We were ecstatic by the news and thought, "What a wonderful anniversary gift!" We tried so long to conceive you through countless fertility treatments, acupuncture and herbs. When we discovered that the one egg retrieved fertilized and implanted we just knew you were our miracle baby. Then countless ultrasounds and tests showed that you were growing and thriving until I had to be placed on bed rest. But I was determined to help you pull through and you were indeed a fighter! You beat all the odds! You were born early at 28 weeks and 6 days. Your lungs sounded strong as I heard your first cry. As you were crying I looked into your eyes and whispered,"I love you" and you stopped crying as if to indicate that you recognized my voice. You were whisked away so quickly to the NICU to be treated. You left us 8 hours later and it was the most difficult thing I have ever faced in my life. My beautiful baby girl was gone and even though its been a few months I can remember it as if it happened yesterday. My Sarah...your name means Princess and you are indeed my precious princess. You will always be a part of my life. Mommy and Daddy love and miss you more each passing day....you are our angel in heaven.

Jacob and Landon were born at 24 weeks gestation. Jacob survived for 33 minutes before passing away from complications from CDH and premature delivery. Landon was born sleeping. They entered this world on 9-12-11. Mommy and Daddy miss and love you boys!

Yesterday made 2 years that you changed my life forever. Farah, Mommy will forever love you. Your memory will be alive as long as I can breath. A piece of me left when I had to leave that hospital room, but I trust God. Farah is forever in our hearts. Farah MacKenzie Desilva Born: April 3, 2011 @ 3:18am 1 lb 6 ounces

Your Dad and I were so happy to find out I was pregnant and we were going to have you! The day we found out you were sick was the hardest day of both of our lives. We loved you so much and knew at that moment we wouldn't be able to apend the rest of our lives with you on this earth. After you were born, we spent 9 hours holding you and remembering as much about you as we could! You will always be our first born baby and we will love you forever. We know you are now an angel in heaven and will watch down over us and our family. We both love you so much!! Your Mom and Dad

I was 39 weeks when you passed and the three days I spent in the hospital laboring knowing I would never hear you cry was the worst feeling I have ever felt. I will love you forever. I hope you understand it was never my choice to let you go. So many night I long to lay by your grave. So many times I wish I could dig you back up and cradle you once more. Many times I wish it would have been me in your place. Sleep peacefully my darling baby girl.

Your first birthday is coming up in 4 days. Mommy. Daddy and Kalem miss you so very much but I know you are in the perfect place for an angel! Rest in paradise my little butterfly <3

My precious Angels...I hope you two are playing together. Your new sister is doing okay now...she almost joined you last week. I was so scared. I love all three of you and wish I couldn't held you two. I wish that you were here with me. I wish you could meet your sister when she enters this world in a few weeks. It's been almost a year since you were called away from me. I still haven't forgiven myself for that day. I don't know how to live with what happened. I miss you both so much. Every night I lay in bed and wonder what you would've looked like. What color were your eyes? Your hair? What did your smile look like? Please don't be mad at your Mommy, or sad as your sister is born. Please watch over us, keep your sister company in her dreams. I will meet you in the clouds one day. Mommy loves her Angels.

ON 11/24/12, MY SON KYRAN ALEXANDER WAS BORN INTO THIS WORLD. HE WAS SO PRECIOUS AND SWEET AND I TRULY FELT BLESSED. HE WAS LOVED SOOOO VERY MUCH AND I COULDN'T WAIT TO BRING HIM HOME. THEN AFTER 27 DAYS IN THE NICU WITH NO APPARENT PROBLEMS, HE PASSED AWAY ON 12/21/2012 FROM A DISEASE KNOWN AS NECROTIZING ENTEROCOLITIS. I MISS HIM EVERYDAY, ESPECIALLY SINCE I DON'T COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED. MY 4 YEAR OLD CONSTANTLY ASKS FOR HER BROTHER AND IT BREAKS MY HEART TO HAVE TO KEEP TELLING HER THAT HE IS NEVER COMING HOME. KYRAN WE ALL MISS YOU AND WE ALL LOVE YOU. YOU MAY BE GONE FROM OUR LIVES, BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE GONE FROM OUT HEARTS.