Remembering Baby

My baby was born prematurely on June 27,2011, my birthday, he is just 32 weeks then and his lungs failed...he died on June 29,2011. He was our first baby, we named him Karsten Zachary, until now, I find it hard to accept that he left us so early...

On December 1st Mommy and Daddy got the best news in the world. We were expecting our first little angel. On December 13th we got to see our little one for the first time. I was determined to be 6W and 5D pregnant with one lil peanut and he had a strong heart beat of 123. He was so cute, we could see his little arms and face on the ultrasound. He looked absolutely perfect. Everytime I looked at his picture I couldnt help but smile. Then on December 22nd mommy started to bleed a little. I rushed to the ER because I thought I was looking my angel baby. The ER doctor reassured me that there was still a heart beat and everything looked perfect but she could not find the source of the bleeding. On December 23rd, I went to the OB so they could take another picture of my angel and we recieve the most heartbreaking news. Our little angel\'s heart beat had stopped. My lil peanut is now in heaven looking down on us. We miss you so much already. I think every mom has her intuition with their baby\'s sex and from day 1, I always thought my angel was a boy and I referred to him as peanut. Healing is going to take a long time but knowing I am not alone does make it easier.

Our daughter Nevaeh Browne was born 01/04/2006 and died 02/04/2006

Cameron Eligah Reese was born on 11/23/2010 and died 01/23/2011 from SIDS. Your parents miss you so much and we love you. You will forever be in our hearts. You will also be missed by your aunts and grandparents too.

I was super excited when I found out you were growing inside me in August and it hurt me so much when you left me on November 24, 2011! I miss you and think about you often! Love you babyboy forever and always

We thought it was going well - we had made it to the 14th week with the baby after the second round of IVF. Then on November 1, we heard the heart-stopping words, \"There\'s a problem with the baby.\" The baby was sick, fetal hydrops and congestive heart failure. A night of sheer terror turned to unspeakable heartbreak the next day when the perinatal specialist confirmed a heart defect that wouldn\'t make it to term. The baby left us to fly up to Heaven a week later. The CVS test confirmed she was a girl, with the diagnosis of Turner\'s Syndrome. She didn\'t have a name prior, just \"the Jellybean\". I thought she needed a name for heaven, so it became our little angel, Angelina.

We found out that we were pregnant with our fourth child in September of 2011. We were both so excited to have a new family member. Our youngest was so excited to be a big sister. She had told me that she couldn\'t wait to help me with the baby. We went in for our first ultrasound the first week of November and everything looked fine. We got to see the baby and the heartbeat was nice and strong. That was a relief to know that the baby was doing well. We told our friends and family that we were expecting again. Life was perfect but sadly on November 30th is when our world had turned upside down. We went in for a routine check up but to find out that something was terribly wrong with the baby. The doctor told us that she couldn\'t hear the baby\'s heart beat. She told us not to worry, she\'ll get us into the ultrasound room. That was the longest elevator ride ever. My husband told me not to give up all hopes and he tried to reassure me that everything would be okay. Then the sad news came when the ultrasound tech had confirmed that our baby had died at 13 weeks. It felt like someone had shot me in the heart. I couldn\'t stop crying, I kept thinking maybe this was all a bad dream. The doctor told me that I had to get a D&C if I didn\'t go naturally. On December 6th we went in for my surgery, the car ride there was long, quiet and sad. I wasn\'t ready to say good bye to my baby. It was so hard for me to walk through those doors to know that in 2 hours my baby would be gone forever. I went into surgery crying and I woke up crying. I had never felt pain like this. Everything is still a blur to me. Sometimes I\'m happy then I\'ll remember that I am no longer pregnant and the emotions changes to sadness. My husband and I decided to give our baby a name even if we never found out the sex of our baby. We wanted to remember our baby by his name. We will be doing a memorial garden in May which is our due date in his memory. I will never forget him, every time I see a shining star I know that\'s him saying hello. I love and miss him so much. He can never be replaced and he\'ll always be in my heart until the day I die. He is our little angel baby watching over us and we know that someday we\'ll see him again.

My son, Joel, was born 1/3/05 a healthy baby boy. 7 lbs 14 ozs and 21 inches long. He was a very happy baby. On the morning of 3/28/05 I woke to find that he died of SIDS. Now, almost 7 years after his passing, I find that one of the hardest things to cope with are the fading memories. The things that used to be so vivid in my mind have become vague. The clothes he wore no longer smell like him. I find it harder and harder to recall in detail a great many things. God has blessed me much more than I deserve. I do have two other children and a wonderful husband. I am a member of a wonderful church and have an awesome family. But nothing or no one can replace Joel. There are days that I grieve deeply, but not as many as there used to be. For that, I am eternally grateful. No one could live with the pain if it continued to be as great as it is when a child is first taken in death. May God bless you all who understand in any way what it means to lose a child.