Remembering Baby

I lost my second child at only 8 weeks pregnant. I found out I was pregnant on my birthday, March 9. My husband and I were surprised but plesantly so; we had just decided to actively try for another baby and it worked on the first try. But something seemed off from the start. When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, I felt a bond from the start. With the second baby, it was as if the baby wasn't mine. I know that sounds odd but I really don't know how else to describe it. I had pretty bad cramps all along but on Easter Sunday they started becoming pretty regular. That evening I experienced what felt like severe menstral cramps. Then I started bleeding. I couldn't sleep that night because the cramps were so bad but I saw no reason to go to the hospital. I knew what was happening. I was alone. My husband was holding on to the hope that everything would turn out okay. The next morning was supposed to be my first ultrasound. I was afraid of what I would see; or rather, what I wouldn't see. Around 7 in the morning, the cramps got a little less. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom but before I could get there, I felt something come out. When I got to the bathroom, I was afraid to look but there it was: a long something. I guessed that was what would've been my baby and placenta. The cramps stopped altogether from then on. When I did finally go to the dr's office, after having called and let them know what was going on, the ultrasound confirmed it. There was nothing there. Apparently, my body had expelled everything it needed to. No D&C was required. I was left feeling empty. I tried to focus on my daughter, who was 6 months at the time but I couldn't help but feel like something, someone, was missing. I can't help but remember that I would've been at 29 weeks by now. All my friends are pregnant or expecting babyies. I'm happy for them, I really am, but at the same time I can't help but remember that while they're preparing for their first or second children, I can only take my daguther to the grave site of her little brother or sister. I'll always reember my second baby, whom we called "Marty" and whenever someone asks how many children I've had, I answer two. We're hoping for a large family still but no matter how many we have, Marty will always be my second child.

On April 15, the day after my birthday, we found out That I was pregnant. So happy and excited, and a little scary. I immediately made an appt. to make sure everything was okay. My first appt. was on May 7, things didnt go as planned. I got the news that something looked irregular, and they would have to check my HCG levels. After jumping all those hurdles about a month later, I found out I was pregnant, and everything looked good. Towards the end of June I was put on bedrest for two weeks due to bleeding and some other discharge. Two weeks came and left and I felt good. I had just starded to enjoy my pregnancy. Life was good. My kids were excited, they had even mentioned that for christmas all they wanted was the baby. I was due on the 25th of December. Until July 2 came around, I felt some pain it felt like a UTI. I had also passed a blood clot. I immediately called my husband to come home. We rushed to the ER, got send home with antibiotics and it was confirmed that I had a UTI. Went home the symptoms did minimize. I was able to breathe. July 3, The cramping came back, the pain was getting worse and worse not wanting to leave my kids at home, we had no choice. We rushed to the ER, already in tears cause I knew something was wrong, At first doctors didnt know what was going on. After a few hours the pain was incredibly bad! All of a sudden I felt a pop and fluid rushed through me like somebody had opened a fawcett. Then doctors were able to tell me that I was in labor. My heart sank, everything happend so fast, the next thing I knew I was carrying My baby Sahara Hope. She looked so precious. I held her and cried, and I will never forget her. I miss her dearly. RIP Sahara Hope Ramirez, mom and dad love you and miss you. You would have been a great little sister.

Woohoo... My daughter is pregnant, wow after 3 long years of trying with no success.. Then a trip to the Bahamas & I heard the words "mom I pregnant" No way" I said.." We were so excited, no words could even explain. My baby girl was finally getting her wish.. to be a MOM! what a great MOM she would be I thought! Then next best thing happened on my birthday, March 17, 2010 she called & told me to start buying PINK! a little girl, don't get me wrong boys are wonderful,but every grandmother wants a little girl! I wa having a granddaughter my 1st & her name was Harper Grace, what a beautiful name for what would be the most beautiful baby girl! I prayed wouldn't it be great if she had red hair & blue eye like her beautiful mother. Then on June 16th 2010 the unspeakable happen! My daughter went into preterm labor, scared to death, I rushed to her side, hoping & praying everything would turn out okay! ( thats what mothers do)! Harper stayed put for another week, but I guess she just couldn't hang on anymore! she entered & left this world on the same day June 25th, 2010.. Our precious little red headed angel! For reason no one really knows! I'll never forget that day, as I walked through that hospital door, seeing my baby girl holding her child that had already passed on to heaven! It was the most devastating event of my life! The hurt I felt, what do I say? Words Escape me, just lots of tears! My reason for this is to always remember my first granddaughter Harper Grace as she will always be my heart & hopefully give Rhiannon & Chris the strength they need to find the peace to heal & mend their hurting hearts. I pray they will one day they try again when the time is right. I love you my baby girls! You too Chris!

my first pregnancy loss was at 12 weeks, the baby had died at 8 weeks they said, and they figured to give it a couple more weeks to see if my dates were wrong, but the day before the doctor had planned on putting me in the hospital for a d&c, I started to cramp and spot, i cryed all the way to the hospital, when I woke up, I cried all the way home, friends were saying "thank goodness it was now and not later" but that was my baby, no matter what the gestation. ( october 3, 1994) In between that and my next misscarriage I had 2 healthy boys, but on February 4 2003 We lost another baby at 10 weeks, this time was so much harder because I was home and unaware, it happened so fast, I started to spot the night before so I figured something might be wrong, the following morning after getting out of the shower, I felt a POP and a gush of fluid and I dropped to my knees screaming for my son to call his grandma for help, I was devastated, this time I was awake and aware of everything to do with the loss. I was afraid to try again, but the following year almost to the day our daughter Emily was born healthy Feb 6, 2004 . I write this to let other mom's know that the loss of any child is hard, no matter how far along you were when they died, but you should try again if that is what is in your heart. I wish all the other Mom's out there love and happiness, and our babies will be there to greet us when our time comes, God Bless.

I have lost 5 babies. My fifth one was just yesterday. At 15 weeks, I went in for a normal doctors visit. Watching the ultrasound screen and not seeing a heartbeat was the most devastating thing I have ever gone through or so I thought. Yesterday, after 15 hours of labor, I delivered my little baby boy, Jack Michael. He was perfect, with 10 fingers and toes. Doctor is baffled at what went wrong and so are we. I am 42 and this was my last chance at having a baby. I don't think my body, emotionally or physically can handle another miscarriage. I don't know how to get over this, it was so hard to leave him at the hospital, even though I know he is with Jesus. I held him on my chest, next to my heart, where he will always be.

It was June 4Th,I was 29 weeks pregnant... My Boyfriend and i were at the registry and our number was next and my water broke... We ran to the car and headed to the hospital i was crying so hard and i was so baffled i couldn't even think of how to get to the hospital. Finally we got there after we stopped and asked a cop for directions he called an ambulance. My water had broken at 11:45am. Baby was breech so i needed an emergency c-section. Justin Thomas was born at 1:11pm at 2Lbs 13ozs. He was Strong pink crying and kicking around and most important...BREATHING ON HIS own.. which nurses were very surprised. Justin got transported to MGH to the NICU. Seeing him hooked up to all those machines was very overwhelming but i knew they were helping him. On about his 5th day of life he started to get really sick and had to be put on a scary looking breathing machine on his 7th day. That night his oxygen level kept dropping doctors kept trying more options to keep him alive but he was not strong enough. Justin passed away June 11 at about 2:20am. After he passed we layed down and i just held my baby boy... It is so hard for me now because all i wanna do is hold him. And nurture him like any mother would. I am very greatful for the days i did get to spend with him. And know he is always wit me in my heart. R.I.P Justin Thomas

I was only 2 months along with my first and only child when I started to bleed. I lost him 2 weeks later. I called him Wind cause although I never got to see him I felt the effects of him in my body and always will in my heart. "You are almost gone, just a tingle in my fingertips A shadow quickly fading from my path If my mind were not so strong I wouldn’t feel you in my blood The effects of you are fading like a drug I am alone because my heart is much too heavy To drag around everywhere I go But through it all I have a sense that someone’s singing From a place higher than I have ever been There is a song of unspeakable words Sung in the doorway of Heaven The choirs of pilgrims and the sound of tear drops drying Are enough to sober my heart and mind"

I was 36 weeks pregnant with my fourth child. it was late, the children and my partner were in bed. I started having pains, my water broke, and when i went to the toilet it was like the start of my period. I woke my partner, he rand an ambulance and my sister got the kids. On the way to hospital the pain was nothing like labour, and just before we got to hospital the paramedic looked under the sheet and reported a lot of blood. That was my next inkling something wasn't right. The nurses at the hospital couldn't detect a heartbeat, so I was sent for an ultrasound. They found a faint heartbeat and I was sent up to theatre for a caesarian. I was given anaesthetic, fell asleep, I woke in recovery with a bag of blood going into a drip. I was shocked. The doctor came in, I asked about my baby, and he said he didn't make it. I had suffered for placental abruption. The placenta came away. They tried to get my little boy out in time, but he passed away. The doctor told me they worked on him for over an hour. He was just as sad as i was. My son's name is Zeke Edward Fisher Hattenfels. He had a mop of red hair just like his dad. We all miss him every day